Sitting In The Aisle: Brightburn

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Brightburn 9/10

Full of spoilers. I meant to see this new movie Brightburn last weekend but did not wanna deal with crowds of any sort over the holidays so I went and checked it out this morning. I remember seeing the trailer a while back and getting hype as fuck because it looked new and original. I thought it was an actual good looking Superman trailer until a woman yanked glass out her eye. This movie was far better than it had any right to be considering I only knew one name associated with it as well as the budget. This was a cool fucking movie. Not sure why it is not doing that well because I got way more than I expected. I legit had at least five jump scares. Not the new fake ones where suddenly the music gets loud but real “Oh, fuck me!” ones. If you are on the fence about seeing this based on reviews you have read or heard I suggest you pretend you can make your own decisions and go see this. We need more movies like this existing.


Back in 2006 This couple Tori and Kyle Breyer are trying to make a baby. It is kinda heavy handed with all the books laying about but whatever. Just when they are about to get down Tori hears something outside. Kyle doesn't because he is thinking of other things and suddenly their entire house shakes like crazy. They look outside and there is a glow in the woods near their home. Fast forward twelve years and seeing footage of this baby that crashed on their farm. They name him Brandon and do not tell him where he came from. They just say he is adopted. Good move. At school he is super smart but kinda...off. One night the ship in the barn starts glowing and sending some message to him. He wanders into the barn and his mother ends up finding him and saying he was sleepwalking. This keeps this incident from her husband. This is one of many times I was like “You better say something!” They keep the ship hidden and locked.


One night while celebrating Brandon's 12th birthday he gets a gun and wants to use it now. Like, right now. His father says he is too young and they should leave. He tries to pull Brandon and can't get this bastard to even budge. They leave and that night he finds Brandon staring at the chickens and they are freaking out. Brandon says he is fine and heads back inside. Later that night the father finds all the chickens mangled. Mom is like “It was a wolf.” Dad is like “A wolf did not open the lock and fuck these chickens up!” Mom is like “Yeah it did” and walks away. The next morning Brandon chews a fuck to shit. He tosses a lawnmower and sticks his hand in the blade and does not get hurt. His parents find lingerie images hidden under his mattress and pictures of human organs and decide to go camping and have “the talk” with him. The father does and it is weird. That night Brandon leaves and goes to the house of this girl he likes form school. This creepy little shit makes her computer come on playing old ass love songs. She is like “That was weird” and puts the laptop down. He does it again and she freaks out. Her mom comes in and she says it was Brandon. Brandon returns to the campsite where his parents were freaking out over him being missing.


Back at school the kids play the trust game. I suggest you never play this game, readers. The girl does not want to touch Brandon and he ends up smacking the ground. The teacher forces her to help Brandon up after she calls the boy a pervert. Brandon crushes the fuck out of her hand. Brandon gets suspended and the girls mother wants cops involved. The cop is there and he is like “Nah.” Brandon mad dogs the mom as he leave so you know her ass is dead. He has to talk to his aunt who is also school counselor and he sounds like a fucking psychopath. That night his mother finds him again but this time he is floating in the barn muttering in an alien language. She snaps him out of it but he falls down into where the ship is and cuts himself. It is the first time he has ever bled. His mom tells him the truth about how he was found and it sounds sweet. Psych! He loses his shit and breaks shit in the house. Dad's like “What's up?” Mom says she told him.


Brandon heads to the girls house again with a flower and says he is special. She is like “You need to get out of my house.” She says her mother says he needs to stay away and he says he will handle that. He heads to her job at the diner as she is closing up and writes his symbol all over the windows in a moment. I shit you not, this kid is super fast! He makes the light she is looking at explode and she slowly pulls the glass out. He zips around her as she tries to see who and where he is. I love this scene. The screen is half red and all you can hear is her pulse. She hides in the freezer until the door is lasered off with fucking laser beams and she is tackled. The cops check out the crime scene. Her body's gone but the one cop sees the symbol on one of the windows.


Brandon heads to the counselor who is also his aunt. He fucks with her lights and then knocks on her door. He says she should not tell his parents or the cops about what he said earlier. She is like “”Pffft, I gotta do my job.” Brandon leaves and finds her husband as he comes home. He finds Brandon hiding in the closet and tries to drive him home. Brandon vanishes and ends up crashing into his truck. This scene was creepy as shit! He appears closer and closer to the truck as its stalled. The guy said everything I did during this scene. Lotta “nopes.” Brandon ends up flipping his truck and he hits his face on the steering wheel. And by his face I mean it is like he bit down on it so it goes inches through. He is gurgling and trying to hold his face together as Brandon dips his finger into the blood and draws his little symbol. This kid is horrible!


The parents tell Brandon about his uncle being dead and he reacts like they told him that they bought Sprite instead of 7Up. The father is like “The fuck is your problem?!” He makes a move on Brandon and gets launched across the kitchen. Mom calms him down and he heads to take a shower. The father finds the bloody shirt Brandon hid after killing his uncle. Mom is like “He's fine...” The father decides to take Brandon hunting aka Puppy Lake. While in the woods the father takes a shot at Brandon and hits him point blank in the head. Brandon looks like something threw a pebble at his head and ends up frying his dad's face off. The police visit mom with pictures of Brandon's symbols and she is like “I said he's fine.” That is until she searches his room and finds drawings of the symbol as well as drawings of the people he murdered. She calls her husbands phone not knowing Brandon has killed him and heard everything she said. Things like “You were right Brandon is a killer!” Brandon says his father is gone but he is home.


Brandon starts wrecking balling the fuck out of the house as mom calls the cops. Yeah. More people to die at the hands of this lunatic. They show up and ones gets turned into red mist. He legit gets exploded. The other cop tries to help until she gets beaten like a rug. Like for real. She gets beaten like a rug. Mom hides as Brandon hunts her down. She heads to the barn realizing that whatever that metal the ship is made from hurts her son. She gets a piece off but not before seeing that the girls mother is in the barn being cut open down there. Brandon finds her and she says that no matter what has happened she knows Brandon is good. She tries to dramatic stab him but he catches her arm, flies up through the barns roof, and flies into the sky with her. She is all fucked up and cut and he just drops her from the sky and then he heads into an airplane blowing it up. He starts to go public with destroying shit and used the plane crash as a cover up for his parents deaths. This bastard!


Like I said, you need to see this movie even with the spoiling shit. This movie was shot very well. The acting was good. The tone was perfect. Even though it was a superhero themed movie it was spooky as fuck. Oh, and the song during the credits was fucking cool and I need to download it immediately.

Elizabeth Banks as Tori Breyer
David Denman as Kyle Breyer
Jackson A. Dunn as Brandon Breyer
Matt Jones as Noah McNichol
Meredith Hagner as Merilee McNichol

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