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Life 3/10
In space everyone screams like a bitch. I just watched the movie Life and like with most films about space it seems to have a lot of smart people making bad decisions to move the story along. I have listened to interviews with astronauts and just to get the chance to get on a ship requires a ton of smarts and work. You can't just be like “I wanna go to the spaces!” and they slap a suit on your and next thing you know you're propelling yourself in zero gravity with the power of pee thrust. This movie stars Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Ryan Reynolds, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ariyon Bakare, and Olga Dihovichnaya. If only you could see how much red was in my spell check right now.
After a trip from Mars gathering space shit these astronauts start checking out this sample that could or could not be something special. They name is Calvin. They run tests and then one day one of them sticks his finger in this protecting glass and starts playing with it. Yeah, everything is all cute and fun until it grabs his punkass hand and starts making it sound like a bag of Dorito's. It's fight time. Another one of them gets locked in a room with Calvin and tries to burn him. He ends up getting mouth fucked by the alien until his head explodes. So that's that.
The rest of the movie is watching this thing chase people from locked location to locked location while dying one by one is weird space ways. This was not as scary as I thought it would be or had the potential to be. I think because the bigger the creature got the sillier it looked. If it had stayed the small starfish size that would have been creepier because fuck things going down your throat unasked. The movie looked nice and had a good cast but the writing was ass. These people made way too many dumb mistakes for me to take this seriously.
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