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Halloween 2/10
This will be full of spoilers. Forget everything you think you know about Halloween and all its various reboots and rewriting of history. Also forget to enjoy yourself because this movie is not good. I'm not even comparing it to the other films because I have vague recollections of those and no serious attachment to them. I thought this trailer looked cool and decided to check it out and ended up finishing and going “Wow. That was a waste of time.” With a horror movie I can watch and enjoy them for a lot of reasons. Because the kills are creative. Because they are unintentionally funny. Because they scared me. Because they were shot well. I don't have any of that to say about this movie. Hell, even the way the movie looked and the camera moved felt like a TV show. It had no flavor to it which sucks.
Forty years after Michael Myers murdered folks some true-crime podcasters show up to talk to Michael. A doctor has been treating him all this time which means he has been talking to a human wall for decades. Michael never talks. They, for whatever fucking reason, whip out his mask and try to get him to talk. Even one of the podcasters gives the doctor a look like “Is this even okay to do?” to which he nods yes. Nothing comes of this at all except we are introduced to a few people that will be killed later on. Then they head to Laurie Strode's place to interview her. She wants Michael dead. She has been divorced a couple of times, lost custody of her annoying daughter who is now an annoying mother, and has been doomsday prepping for Michael to return. She then tells them to leave.
Allyson who is Laurie's granddaughter has a guy she likes who ends up cheating on her. It is the silliest damned scene and one in which he should have had his ass beaten by her or someone she considered a friend. He does some movie level dick moves and she just walks away. His friend leads her home and after making a move on her is killed by Michael. Oh, right. The bus that was carrying Michael and other crazy folk crashed and after a lot of go nowhere nonsense he finds his way into town.
There is this side story with a babysitter and this kid. The kid is a smart ass and the babysitter of course invites her boyfriend over. The kid says someone is in the room so she goes to check while the boyfriend heads outside to smoke and fuck with things he shouldn't fuck with. Of course she thinks things are fine until Michael slaughters her ass and the kid runs. This story was added I am guessing to pad time. There is a lot of that by the way. There is a lot of conversations that mean nothing and scenes that have no pay off. They are just happening. Anyhoot, Michael finds his way to Laurie's home and she goes full Home Alone on his ass and ends up baking him alive in the house. They even had the nerve to tease a sequel to this.
If you are worried about this movie being too violent or gory or disturbing you do not have to be concerned with that at all. There was an episode of Punky Brewster that was creepier than this could have hoped to be. There was too much focus on Laurie's uninteresting granddaughter. I would have liked this more if there was just Laurie and her daughter who had to grow up with her mom's seemingly extreme behavior. But no. They show some glimpses of it and when Michael attacks Laurie's daughter can't even begin to help. The only reason I am not giving this a 1 rating I because the music made me nostalgic. I really like that theme.
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